


Moving on

by scarletchidori



Series: NejiTen Month 2019 [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: A little bit of angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, i love writing hurt/comfort one-shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-09 14:35:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19477921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletchidori/pseuds/scarletchidori
Summary: “It doesn’t work like this, Ten”, he says “No matter if you overcome your grief or not, it doesn’t matter… your love for them will not change. And you will always miss them, I still miss my father"





	Moving on

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo I was able to write something today too. This one-shot seems pointless and without meaning, but I needed to write it for... many reasons. I hope you will like it, I really do.

_“I’ll name that star on the right after myself_

_Please call it by its new name_

_‘Cause your name would be perfect for that star on the left_

_Then we’d always be standing side by side”_

_(Pino and Amèlie - Naruto Shippuden)_

_*_

“I was thinking about something, you know?”

“About what?”

  
“Your parents”, he says “You never talk about them, I’ve never see them, so I guess… they’re not with you anymore, but why you never talk about them?”

“They’re dead, Neji”, I say “Why should I talk about them?”

“Because for two days, every year, you isolate yourself… even from me”, he says “Why would you shed tears alone, when you can lean on me? On Lee?”

I know everything about Neji. He told me his rare memories of his father, the first snow when he was a child, the snowball fight they had that day. His father smiles. So rare and beautiful, he said when I asked to describe me how his father looked in those rare moments. I know about his curse mark and about his life when he thought his sole purpose in life was to serve the Main House.

But he doesn’t know everything about me. He doesn’t know that I never went to visit my parents at the cemetery because I’m scared that the pain for their deaths would crush me. I am even scared to not feel anything and feeling guilty for it.

I’m too scared.

He doesn’t know that my father died first, and that my mother died the day the Fox destroyed everything. I was too small to even remember them. Guy-sensei gave me a picture of them.

He didn’t know them.  
But he knew someone who was their friend, and he asked if he could have a picture of them so their daughter would know how they looked like.

“Tenten?”

“I-- I don’t want to burden you, or Lee, with my problems”.

“You are not a burden, Ten”, he says “You always have a smile on your face, always cheering people on, then why you never let people cheer you on? You need someone too and you know I’m here for you”

“As I said they’re dead”, I say.

  
“How?”

“I don’t know”, I confess “My father died first, before I was born, then my mother… died when the Fox destroyed Konoha”

“I didn’t know… I’ve never thought about it”, he whispers “About the fact the every anniversary of that day you would isolate yourself”

“Don’t worry about me”

“I worry about you, Tenten”, he says laying a hand on my shoulder “Please let me help you. Allowing me to help you like you helped me”.

“I am scared”, I confess.

“Why?”

“I’ve never visited my parent’s grave. I’m scared to be crushed by pain or to not feel anything because I’ve never know them”.

“From what I learned I would say that feeling one or both is okay. You never knew them, so you don’t know… what it feels like to have them, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to feel pain and loneliness”.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure”.

“Would you come with me?”, I ask.

“Of course, if you want”.

“Yes”.

“Then I will come with you”, he replies looking in the eyes.

“Can we go now?”

“Yes”.

We walk in silence while I feel so much fear, so much anguish, I don’t know what I should feel at this moment. Part of me will always miss my parents, there will always be a hole in my heart, a huge hole that nobody will ever fill. But can you miss something you never had? Something you never experienced? Despite asking that to myself for years, I still have no answers.

Suddenly I feel Neji’s hand brush against mine and taken by the need to feel someone’s warmth, I take his hand in mine.

“Don’t worry, Tenten”, he says in a low voice, “I’m here”.

“I know”, I whisper in a voice so low that I don’t think he heard what I said.

When we arrive in front of the cemetery I feel insecure.

“We can always try tomorrow”, he says “You don’t have to face something you’re not ready to face”.

“No, let’s go”, I say “I’m ready… I am”

When we enter the cemetery all the surrounding noise seems to disappear, replaced by total silence. I know where my parents are buried, even though I never came here. When we get close to their graves, I squeeze Neji’s hand even more, perhaps I am hurting him, but he doesn’t complain.

Two tombstone that marks their existences. Two tombstone that are so ruined that I can’t even read their names, this all I have left of them. 

I wish I could talk to them… just once even if for a minute, or even less, I wish I could talk to them and hug them close and tell them that despite everything I’m trying to make them proud. A tear runs down my face and then another… and another until my eyes are clouded with tears.

The warmth of Neji’s embrace comforts me and seems to surround my heart too. I’ve always been afraid to face them, to face my mourning and my pain, but I finally managed to accept the inevitable reality. I can’t change anything about what happened and nothing will ever fill the void for their absence. But perhaps this will be the first step towards a new chapter of my life, where they will be one of my reasons to moving forward.

“Tenten?”

“I’m fine”, I murmur.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes”, I say hugging him close to me “I think… I’m ready to let go… but I’m scared that if I let go, then I will stop feeling their absence or I will stop loving them”.

“It doesn’t work like this, Ten”, he says “No matter if you overcome your grief or not, it doesn’t matter… your love for them will not change. And you will always miss them, I still miss my father. When I was younger I saw him in my uncle, they were twins after all, so every single day that wound opened again and again. Ever since I found out the truth seeing my uncle doesn’t make me suffer like it used to”

“So I will not forget them even if I decide to move on? It doesn’t mean that I don’t care about them?”

“Overcoming a loss doesn’t mean forgetting a person, Tenten. You will always carry your parents in your heart, but the feeling will be less overwhelming, or so it was for me”

“You’re right”

“My mother died when I was a small child and despite that I still miss her and I still come here to talk to her”

“Thank you, Neji”

“Don’t suffer alone in those days, you can lay on me”.

“Don’t ever leave me, okay? Stay with me”.

“Don’t worry. I will always be by your side”

I think I am ready to let go now. Let go of all my fears and my suffering, perhaps I could talk with our sensei and ask him if I can meet some of my parent’s old friends and talk to them. Talk to them and being able to know my parents and how they were, what they liked or hated, and how my mother raised me alone for whatever time we had together. Perhaps they have other photos, other memories that they share to allowing me to know them better. 

Even though they are gone, the people who knew them are not, and I’m still here proving their existence in this world. Their time was cut short but mine is still going and I will try to make them proud.

**Author's Note:**

> As always if you notice mistakes, let me know!!!


End file.
